Secret Closets - Outcasts Unite

I keep seeing this happening over and over again and it's bothing me still ... but differently this time. The old "blame a website" for the problems within society routine. But it's not just the pro-ana sites, it's alot of different websites where the so called outcasts of society get together, the eating disordered, goths, gays, lesbians, transgendereds, bisexuals, even in the anti perfect world the barbies are being labelled as outcasts.

What is the reason for this?
We are looking for two things. Acceptance of who and what we are is the most important. Also we yearn to belong to a group of individuals who are like ourselves to know we are not alone in this world. The term associated with this is a "family". Online we can develop close bonds with other people, become friends and feel alot better about being who and what we are because we are not the only ones, there are many of us world wide.

But why are we feeling alone?
Two very unique places exsist in the world. One is the "big city" and the other the "small town". Both have good points, and both have some nasty points as well. This is an eating disorder forum so I'll relate the two places to that.

Big city, faster paced lifestyle with very little time to be by yourself or be bothered with little details (example ... insert any how to hide anorexia tip here). Without giving a tip and putting it short ... bulimia is the easier one to fit into the "schedule".

Smaller place, laid back lifestyle but also alot more prejudice exsists, way more gossip, close minded to minorities and people have way too much time on their hands. Even though bulimia does not go up in numbers, anorexia does and it's directly related to the outter conflicts within the enviornment (being bashed for who and what you are). It's alot easier to be by yourself in a smaller place too (less people makes you stand out more so constant buying of food ect is suspicious) which makes anorexia the disorder that better fits.

Myth is the small town friendliness ... it hides many secrets. Ever notice the "sameness" of smaller places? It's crazy hate breeding hate. I mean sure, it exsists in cities too, but alot less percentage of population wise. Of the city hate, mostly it's gang related so it's quite different than the bashing abuse of smaller places where it's targeted at your "genre or group" plus domestic abuse is crazy high in smaller places (in some cases actually outnumbering (not pop) the cases in the cities).

"The city builds a wall of which to protect it's citizens. But is it to keep us from getting out, or to keep them from getting in?" - Adventures of Priscilla. (it's close to that ... good quote from that movie).

Myth is the big city acceptance ... it hides many secrets as well. When people go into the big city areas the first thing noticed is the people driving all the nice cars, living in their nice houses with the perfectly landscaped lawns and white picket fence, two kids and the mini van and they look at that and want that too. On the surface it looks great but how it's achieved is very wrong. Both parents working full time just to keep up to this financial appearance makes it so the children have to be put into daycare. As soon as work is done, thrust them out of daycare into the mini van and off to some fast food place to gulp down whatever they have time for and it's off to sports practice, dance rehersals ... then off to pick the kids up from that to get home do homework off to bed only to repeat that again every day. There is no quality time spent with anyone, just whatever is scheduled. The "soccer mom" is hailed a hero but should be labeled a zero because it's destroying the one thing most important ... the family unit.

This applies to ALL the so called outcasts of society, eating disordered, goths, glbts ... what are they looking for? Belonging. They seek out a group and reference it to their new "family" ... keyword family. If the quality time and acceptance exsisted within our own families none of this would be happening. If the laws applied to all and people got tough on hate crimes, school shootings would not happen. Why blame any website for things stemmed back to the root cause ... hate and non exsistance of a family unit? It doesn't make sense.

We are the secrets hidden by this, and what is being not well recieved is that by these websites, we are letting the secrets out. Things are NOT all good, things are NOT ok and if they were, we would not be this way.

Ever see the movie Revenge Of The Nerds? It was a really good movie about the hatred and bigotry thrust upon those who are "nerds" (good at computer related stuff). Bashd for that reason alone. They took a stand and did not back down until nerd oppression ended and in the end they won. It was made in the 80's and 20 years later, nerd oppression still exsists. Good at computers? Yup, we are the new nerds and the outside world does not like that we are taking a stand by these websites exposing thier secrets not letting up until we win equality, acceptance and understanding.

We need to unite in our differences and fight the real fight ... against the true triggers of the evil side effects. My ed sites, professional ed sites, vampire freaks, any gay pride site, recovery sites ... we all share a common goal and that's being against societies reasons to hide the "secrets". Why hide? Only one reason ... there is something to hide.